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Sink or Swim
By Joe | October 20, 2006
The last time I went on a cruise I lost my favourite teddy bear and the contents of my stomach to the churning briny below. Oh, and the children’s life jacket store caught fire. Unsurprisingly my desire for further shipboard experiences hadn’t exactly been burning brightly. Until now.
Now I have a wife who likes being pampered, two toddlers with a boredom threshold teetering on zero and a personal holiday restlessness that makes staying in one place a rash-inducing experience.
A couple of friends had returned from a family holiday at sea, gushing that a Caribbean cruise was the only way to go. ‘But was it the only way to go for parents with toddlers?’ I mused. Our friends had teenagers that could go off and amuse themselves. We had handheld fireworks, liable to explode willy-nilly. Would this be a fun way for a three- and a five-year-old to spend seven days?
And would we as parents overcome our fear of them plopping overboard or causing a mutiny by their over-exuberance and look back on the experience as smooth sailing or a stormy blip in the Cawley family history?
There was only one way to find out. The decision was made to subject 110,000 tonnes of floating nuts and bolts to the rigours of our offspring. Sam’s Bob the Builder spanners were not packed.
“Where’s our boat,” asked Sam as we waited to board on the Miami dockside.
“There,” I said, pointing up at the 12 passenger decks above us.
“It’s as big as the sky!” he squealed. He wasn’t far out. The Carnival Valor is BIG, a super-liner that can carry 3,730 holidaymakers, a third of which are under 21 during summer voyages.
Ten years ago the thought of youngsters swamping the decks would have horrified the average cruise passenger but the last decade has seen a 300 per cent increase in the number of children cruising with the company. Naturally concessions have had to be made for those who still think children should be herded unseen. ‘Adult-only’ areas have been introduced, but perhaps more significantly, Camp Carnival, an onboard children’s club has been introduced, a signal to all that not only are children tolerated but are actively encouraged.
Our stateroom was large enough to be able to keep Molly Blue and Sam apart during their darker moments, but compact enough so that they could easily be reeled in for their daily dose of sun cream. The balcony proved to be a vital addition, providing a perfect safe room where Joy and I could share a bottle of red while the kids slept.
The second evening of our voyage incorporated one of two formal nights, when a jacket and tie and a posh frock were the recommended attire for dinner. Although Molly Blue would have loved to parade in fancy frills, Sam’s only concession to formality would have been to refrain from wiping his bogeys on the nearest available trouser leg. Thus we decided to enrol them in The Camp for the evening, their first taste of any kids club anywhere.
Thankfully (probably through a state of shock) the handover to Jo Seymour, the ship’s affable Youth Director, was remarkably calm. While Joy and I enjoyed Filet Mignon and Lobster Tail at a table for two – with just a small side order of guilt – Molly Blue and Sam chased balloons, had their faces painted blue and red and met Funship Freddy, Carnival’s mascot.
At collection time, 10pm, we expected tears and accusations of abandonment. We got nothing. In fact it took some persuasion to get Molly Blue back at all.
“Aw, I don’t want to go,” she complained. Joy and I were gob smacked. Jo was beaming: “If the kids want to stay with us instead of going with their parents we know we must be doing something right.”
Unsurprisingly the glory of the Caribbean meant nothing to our two, which was just as well, as the choice of excursions for under 5s at our three ports of call was limited. However, we declined the option for them to stay on board their giant floating Fisher Price Activity Centre, perhaps through a misconception that one day they would vaguely remember a journey through a hundred shades of blue, the deepest of greens and the most dazzling whites.
Molly Blue slept through the entire hour-long coach tour of near-utopian St. Maarten. Sam, as usual, was more animated. “Look, Bob the Builder!” he shouted, pointing at a man in a yellow hard hat labouring on one of many single-storey white houses that speckled the dense green canvas of mango, papaya and tamarind trees.
Buoyed with the success of our first Camp Carnival foray, Joy and I switched to hands-free mode again in the US Virgin Islands and took to a catamaran for a two-hour sunset champagne cruise out of St. Thomas Harbour. Hands free that is, apart from the never-emptying glasses of champagne we chinked to a romantic evening in the Caribbean.
My desire has been rekindled. The kid-count on Carnival cruises is increasing every year, and it’s easy to see why. Whether you consider it a floating holiday camp or a luxury tour, a cruise is certainly a viable option for young families who want an adult holiday that also floats the boat for their offspring too.
** GETTING THERE: Carnival Cruise Lines (0845 351 0556/www.carnivalcruise.co.uk) offers the 9-night Caribbean fly/cruise on board the Carnival Valor, departing from Miami, Florida, from £899pp (two sharing), including return flights from London, pre-cruise hotel night in Miami and 7-night cruise full board basis.
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