Inane rants

Looking for Clash of the Titans in Tenerife

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

It was Saturday. Pancake day in the Cawley household. A day when Molly Blue and Sam gorge themselves silly on flour and water. But after the feeding frenzy, what to do?
Answer: Go and find Hollywood in Tenerife. Yip, we’d heard that the film set for the Clash of The Titans re-make was being built in [...]

Rod Stewart in Tenerife - review

Monday, May 18th, 2009

What’s going on in Tenerife! We might be woefully short of tourists at the moment, but it seems that all the celebs are taking advantage of the quietness to visit our shores at the same time. Or maybe there’s a celeb party going on that only those with a spread in Hello magazine know about. [...]

A real life clash of the Titans in Tenerife

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Had a bit of a clash with the Titans in Tenerife yesterday while trying to renew my residencia.
Why are the people who deal with paperwork so damn awkward? Is it because they’ve been breathing in teeny particles of paper dust? Is it because they’re sick and tired of all the paper cuts they get?
No. It’s [...]

New Tenerife video

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Joy is talking about cucumbers, fish and cow flesh on our new Sky Travel video
We were supposed to be showing how cheap it is to shop at local markets, but half the buggers weren’t open when we got there. Twice we went to Las Galletas to try and catch the fish market fully open. Both [...]

Daily tremor tally in Spain… and the Tenerife weather report

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

Spain earthquake count: 47 tremors (over 1.5 on the Richter Scale) in the last 10 days, including 3 in the Canary Islands.
And today’s weather in Tenerife south… jolly sunny with cloud-free skies and a high of 22, a low of 17.
Visibility is 17 kilometres, which means there’s no calima, fog, smog or blizzard. Which is [...]

Ole Rod Stewart in Tenerife! Whatever next.

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

Well, it’s official. I mean officially official. The announcement was made several weeks ago that the oldest mullet in town was heading to Tenerife… but you know how things are on the rock. A ‘definite’ is a maybe, a ‘probable’ is a no chance, and a ‘possible’ is as likely as a gecko being voted [...]

Wake up Tenerife!

Friday, November 7th, 2008

How hard is it for a receptionist in Tenerife to smile? I mean come on, it’s not rocket science to work out that beyond a comfy bed and a clean bathroom the most important thing that a hotel can offer is friendly staff. Particularly the frontline troops ie reception.
I’ve just dropped my parents off at [...]

Giant vulture attack in Tenerife!!

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Hellfire. Sounds like a B-movie title but apparently this is what happened at the splendid (and usually safe) Jungle Park in the hills above Los Cristianos.
A couple of ladies in their 50s were minding their own business watching the birds of prey show in the outdoor arena when a rather sturdy Griffin Vulture that was [...]

Where the hell have you been?

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Ok, I suppose the question should be ‘Where the flamin’ heck have I been?’
Well, all over the place actually, both geographically and career-wise. Since we last spoke, several major events have ocurred - I’ve become a hotel inspector (no sniggering at the back), I’m officially a cruise writer, and my cat has grown a large [...]

The Tenerife hills are alive with the sound of… just about everything

Friday, June 20th, 2008

Living in the hills of Tenerife, the sights, sounds and smells seem amplified to epic proportions. Whether it’s the pungent smell of a dozen goats’ bottoms, the distant howling of my psycho neighbour, or the slap-in-the-face, poke-in-the-eye, boot-in-the-balls astonishment at the night sky, I LOVE LIVING HERE.
I used to live down there (he says pointing [...]