Confessions of a Tenerife author
By Joe | August 15, 2010
More Ketchup than Salsa: Confessions of a Tenerife Barman
Well that’s nice. An email out of the blue from a production company asking if film rights are still available for my book, More Ketchup than Salsa: Confessions of a Tenerife Barman.
“Yes,” I replied tentatively, my brain scanning the voice for tell-tale tones of a friend on a wind-up.
But no, genuine interest! Blimey.
Two emails and a phone conversation later and I’m looking at flights back from Tenerife to Blighty to meet with said production company and hopefully get the ball rolling. Or at least inflated.
Either way – impending celluloid stardom or just a popped dream – I shall keep you informed over the next few weeks.
Topics: General musings | 1 Comment »
Abama listed in 101 Honeymoons
By Joe | May 20, 2010
101 Honeymoon Ideas
Good to see the ‘city’ of Abama listed in Mark Hodson’s 101 Honeymoon Ideas site. For those that don’t know the Abama Hotel in Tenerife, it’s an immense resort colouring the west coast with a huge splash of green and a skyline of dusty rose.
I’m sure those looking for a post-nuptials ‘bash with a splash’ would appreciate the two-storey spa, championship golf course, ‘private’ beach and opulent accommodation.
Just looking at the pics reminds me I need to get married one day…
Topics: General musings | No Comments »
For UK passengers stranded in Tenerife
By Joe | April 18, 2010
Flight cancellations Tenerife to UK – Icelandic volcano
For info call Freefone Tenerife Tourism: 00800 100 101 00 in English, German, French and Spanish.
The Spanish Airport Authority also has a helpline 902 404 704 & 00 34 91 321 1000 with information about upcoming flight cancellations.
Topics: General musings | No Comments »
Travel writers hotel recommendations
By Joe | December 18, 2009
As a travel writer I was asked by Sunday Times writer Mark Hodson for a hotel I’d recommend at under €150 per night for a double room. The best small hotel in Tenerife, Hotel San Roque was an obvious answer, but was KO-ed by the crappy exchange rate, which means it works out at around £160 at the mo.
Anyhows, check out this page (I’m at the bottom) on hotels recommended by travel writers, to see which hotel I did recommend – and it’s not on Tenerife.
Topics: Tenerife | No Comments »
Tenerife advice for Globespan passengers
By Joe | December 17, 2009
In the words of Freddie Mercury… another one bites the dust. Globespan has gone into administration, stranding thousands of passengers at destinations such as Tenerife. For those stranded on The Rock, the Tenerife Tourist Board puts out the following advice:
In the wake of yesterday’s news of the collapse of Globespan and its low cost airline Flyglobespan, Turismo de Tenerife is liaising closely with Ashotel (Tenerife Hoteliers Association) , Aena, (Spanish Aviation Authority), APAV (Provincial Association of Travel Agents ), the company itself and tour operators who operate with it in order to ensure that any affected passengers who are currently holidaying in Tenerife will be able to enjoy their holiday to the full before returning to the UK.
Globespan flights scheduled from Tenerife Sur are as follows: one today Thursday [17 December] and a further three for Saturday [19], bound for the Scottish cities of Glasgow, Aberdeen and Edinburgh. All these passengers will be offered accommodation at special ‘contingency rates’, independent of any agreements they may reach with Globespan for their return to the United Kingdom.
The island councillor for tourism Tenerife, José Manuel Bermúdez, stresses: “This is unexpected news but we believe that the number of seats, which amounts to around one per cent of the total airline capacity from the UK to the island , will be covered in the near future by other airlines operating to Tenerife.
“As well as the action being implemented by Turismo de Tenerife, companies like Easyjet and Ryanair have already offered special prices for these passengers, so we are confident that they will be all able to fly home in the next few days.”
There is a customer helpline 0044 141 332 3233, and an official statement with useful information on their web: www.flyglobespan.com. Passengers affected by Globespan’s failure can also check out the British Civil Aviation Authority’s web: www.caa.co.uk
Locally, the Spanish Aviation Authority AENA at Tenerife Sur airport has activated a customer helpline for stranded passengers: 922 759 027 or 922 759 028, where they can get information on extending their stay until they have been able to make alternative travel arrangements.
Topics: General musings, Tenerife | No Comments »
Win a spiffing holiday in Lanzarote
By Joe | November 9, 2009
Fancy a bit of that for free? (Ahem... the resort, not the talent).
Oh! Those nice people at Sands Beach Resort in Lanzarote are offering the chance to win a free holiday for up to 4 people just by becoming a fan of the marvellous new online wonder that is Tenerife Magazine. As they say in the cheesiest of cheese shop competitions, ‘You’ve got to be in it to win it’, so hop along now to the Tenerife Magazine Facebook page and where it says ‘become a fan’… well, click it and become a fan, pronto… if not pronto-er.
You still here?
Away with you. Now.
Topics: General musings | No Comments »
A word about Istria
By Joe | August 11, 2009
Red Island, Istria
One of the questions you get asked a lot when you live in a tourist destination like Tenerife is, ‘Where do you go on holiday?’ Sensible question seeing as we’re all enjoying a permanent holiday on the rock. Or so people seem to think. Usually the answer is “back to Blighty”, followed by, “but it’s not really a holiday”. Well this year, the Cawley clan decided to do it different. We went to Istria. That’s the heart-shaped bit at the top of Croatia, for all the geographically bewildered. And man, was that a good decision.
Istria is a land of simple pleasures – which is just as well, as we’re just simple folk. No scream-inducing theme parks; no mammoth beaches awash with hip-to-hip Brits; and no Olde English Pubbes baying for your trade with laminated images of egg and chips. It’s all good, clean, natural fun in Istria.
The Cawley clan in Istria
For the first week we stayed on Red Island, near the medieval ‘damn-that’s-pretty’ town of Rovinj. The whole island (all 1.5 kilometres of it) is just a big park surrounded by the clearest sea imaginable. Pines, poplars and olive trees shade grassy knolls and Mediterranean flora sprouts from almost every orifice (the island’s, not mine!). Another even smaller island was reached by rocky walkway.
We ate grilled squid and drank one too many frosty beers at the islet’s only restaurant, before adventuring off-path and gorging on wild blackberries. Suitably juice-faced, we took a quick dip in the Adriatic to shed the red, and escape the heat. The water was around 25 degrees, ideal sea temp to get refreshed without risking heart stoppage.
The result of one frosty beer too many
Daytimes were mostly spent mithering the sea life with snorkels and masks, or long lazy lunches while the Molly and Sam ran amok in a timber play park. We thought we might make use of the kids club, but our two were totally content chasing butterflies, lizards and splashing around in the pool and sea.
Rovinj
Most nights we’d venture aboard the free boat taking us 10 minutes across the bay to the mainland and the buzz of Rovinj – a town with more seafood restaurants than you can shake a knife and fork at. As you’d expect from a medieval town, the lanes are small, cobbled and lead to the most unexpected of places. We had a near miss when we trailed an alley that led to a sudden 20ft drop into the briny.
The second week was spent further north, within walking distance of the town of Porec, another historical settlement albeit on a tinier scale. All of the hotels along this stretch of coastline are cloaked in pine forests. It’s like someone moved the Lake District to the shore. Energised by the proliferation of good food, foliage and sunshine, we were even so bold as to rent bikes for half a day – though why we envisioned we had such energy is still a mystery. Cycling along the coastal path with Sam strapped to my back, was certainly a scenic way of seeing the forests and coves of Istria, and an even more certain way of shedding several kilos (and years off my life) in the process.
After two weeks, we returned to Tenerife with newfound love of creamy truffle pasta, Istrian Merlot and vows to go back and explore some more of Croatia’s 1200 islands and Istria’s green and pleasant heartland. Think I may lay off the biking next time though.
Topics: General musings, Life in general | 3 Comments »
Funky flirtations with luxury Tenerife hotel
By Joe | July 14, 2009
Had the good fortune to take the venerable Mrs Joe to the restyled Hotel Sir Anthony for her birthday recently.
The Sir A, as it’s now tagged, is an oasis of tip-top styling at the heart of Playa de las Americas. Cheap it ain’t – but damn fine it is.
Picture private rooftop plunge pools, smoked glass windows, a pillow menu that divides into chapters and al fresco massages amidst the shade of leafy palms. The staff are totally on the ball, even housekeeping knew it was Joy’s birthday and cheerily reminded her whenever they passed.
The restaurant is also fab. A private lawn-side pagoda had been decked out with starched linen and shiny silverware, surrounded by flickering oil lamps and an assortment of stray cats. I don’t think the cats were supposed to be there, but they were good company and fully appreciated the scallops in puff pastry, fillet steak in red wine and the foie gras.
Fair play too with the breakfasts. Yes, there was the full english variety if you cared to venture for it. But every day they also invent a selection of creative alternatives, such as smoked bacon on crispy noodles, and goats cheese with apple and cranberry parfait.
Although there’s a barrow-load of facilities and amenities at the four other neighbouring Mare Nostrum hotels, including a gym and wellness spa, they’re all hidden away behind the Sir A so you wouldn’t even know they were there.
The only thing you do notice is the golden stuff on Compostela Beach, a mere arm’s length from the lawned gardens. In fact there’s no other hotel in Tenerife within such close proximity from rooms to sand.
Can’t help but recommend the Sir Anthony and will definitely return, only if to rest my weary head on the other 130 different pillows on offer.
In Tenerife, if you’re looking for a romantic break, a flirty fling or just a bit of high class pampering in unpretentious yet gorgeous surroundings, check into the Sir A, you’d be a fool not to.
Topics: General musings, Tenerife | No Comments »
If Carlsberg scored goals, they’d probably score them like this
By Joe | June 8, 2009
That cheeky chappy is called Andres Vasquez, a Swedish Under-21 international who is currently looking to switch from Swiss side IFK Gothenburg to Premier League side Stoke.
Wonder how many times he tried THAT before popping one in?!
Topics: General musings | 1 Comment »
Looking for Clash of the Titans in Tenerife
By Joe | June 6, 2009
It was Saturday. Pancake day in the Cawley household. A day when Molly Blue and Sam gorge themselves silly on flour and water. But after the feeding frenzy, what to do?
Answer: Go and find Hollywood in Tenerife. Yip, we’d heard that the film set for the Clash of The Titans re-make was being built in the wilds of Teide National Park, so off we set to have a ganders. Joy plastered on her best lippy in hope that they’d had a casting disaster and urgently needed to pluck a complete stranger from the crowd of gawpers. Bit of a dreamer, our Joy.
Anyways, it was easy to find the set. Clearly marked by miles of Crimewatch style ticker tape, a scrum of equipment vehicles and two roadside security guards looking clearly baffled as to why they were there.
The actual set building was roped off just at a great vantage point metres from where the painters were dabbing ochre onto God-world pillars. ‘What’s a pillar?’ you can hear Molly ask in the video. I was tempted to answer the question ‘what’s a pillock?’ as there was clearly one standing in front of the set in a yellow vest, wagging a finger at anybody who dared lift a camera.
“No picture, no picture,” he barked 20 metres across the volcanic wasteland. Most people lowered their cameras and skulded off bewildered. A few, like us, waited till his back was turned then snapped away anyway.
“It’s Teide National Park, for goodness sake,” Joy rightly points out in the video. “I’ll take a *&88ing picture if I want.” The observant amongst you will spot that we didn’t use that particular take. Sky Travel is a family channel, after all.
Anyways, depite Joy mithering the life out of various members of the production crew, they all refused to be interviewed, those in postitions of authority tutting about ‘something has to be done about all these people taking pictures, it’s supposed to be a closed set.”
Well don’t stage a Hollywood set in the middle of a national park then, for *&%^’s sake! Or at least build it further than 50 goddam metres from the roadside of Spain’s most visited National Park. And cover it up. A shower curtain, a pair of Ann Widdicombe’s knickers. Anything!
Anyway, here’s the Tenerife Clash of the Titans video, including Joy’s (toned down) rant. Enjoy.
Topics: Inane rants, Tenerife | No Comments »